To My Clients
To my actual clients: If you stumble upon this site reading anything that is publicly available is totally ok. I write everything with you guys in mind. My social media accounts, and password protected portions of my websites however are off limits. I don’t know if you realize but the same applies to me when it comes to you! While yes, I am nosey, bossy, and in your business all the time I’m only allowed to be when it fits with treatment and with your safety.
What you say on Facebook (unless it is a suicidal/homicidal statement) is totally off limits. In fact when clients have decompensated on social media it was always friends or family that let the team know, as we were not connected to the account. I hope some day soon to use this space as a way to provide you with even more homework! Please read below if you are itching to friend me on Facebook or request a password to the Portal.
To everyone else: Below is how I view self disclosure, and a good example of how I actually interact with my clients in therapy. I am sarcastic, crass at times, nerdily full of information, and I use other people’s mindfulness recording because OMG you don’t want to hear me do one! This is an important topic for me, and one where I’ve had to walk a fine line, and one that I am now choosing to walk willingly.
Stop you sneaky peaky client of mine! I know you want to know all about me, the sacred space we share creates that yearning as an inaccurate representation of our rapport! You want to know a secret? I want to know everything about you too! I’ll tell you another secret, I don’t!
While it seems like since it is my job to know everything there is to know about you, I don’t. I so often want a extra peak around the corner, click that link in Google, or ask you that extra question.
Though I know it is not a part of this sacred bond we have. While I know A LOT about you it is only to fuel this amazing thing we have called therapy. While we can talk about what it means to the soul, love, healing, serenity, being, empowering, embarking and BECOMING; this thing called therapy is also science.
You know what I always say? We don’t think and feel with the same part of the brain! (Lisa Ferentz, LCSW-C taught me that!)
We forget sometimes that this awesome thing called therapy is a part of this amazing scienctific world of who we are called Psychology. Within Psychology there is Neuroscience, and so much of what we do is a part of this new evolution that I like to call Applied Neuropscyhology!
All that stuff I say about Mindfulness and your Amgydala? You know how we have to teach it to calm down so it can smooth down the scratches in your Hippocampus! That’s the amazing MATRIX that resolves your Trauma and allows you to heal.
Or were we talking about Dopamine? How that likely due to a combination of genetics and the tough stuff of life that caused your brain to not lose the neurons that mine did when I became an adult? Dopamine Agonists are amazing things that can give you more control over what YOUR brain can do. Ideally, it is with few bad effects, and all the good. Ideally, your extra reality is one that is easy to leave and safe.
Though when it is not I will always be there to guide you through the storm, we can do some amazing things with Cognitive Remediation, CBT, WRAP, your Peers, Group, and don’t forget the Peer Counselor!
It doesn’t matter what label we put on that thing that is going on with your brain: Schizophrenia, Schizoaffective Disorder, PTSD, C-PTSD, Dissociation, Depression, Anxiety, OCD, Agoraphobia, Bipolar Disorder,
Borderline Personality Affect Regulation Disorder, whatever the DSM V throws your way …
We’ll get through it together like we always do until you don’t need someone like me in your life anymore.
THOUGH I KNOW YOUR SICK TOO!
Oh Yes? Good question, yes, you do know a lot about me! I know that it can get confusing sometimes how I am supposed to be the blank slate on which you reflect, yet, a full genuine intuitively empathetically connected human being.
Just like I make sure to try to do my best to only know what I need to about you, I try to do my best that you know everything you need to about me.
It’s that balancing act you know, of professional use of self disclosure. It took me along time to figure it out, I’ve made MANY mistakes, and I’ll still make more!
It was awful years back when I didn’t know to tell you, not to mention how to tell you, when I was sick. I’d come back from being gone too long too unexpectedly and I had injured you deeply.
All of you, my dearest clients. The rumors, fears of cancer, impending death, horrifying disabilities, loss, grief … not telling you clearly and calmly what was going on with me was my BIGGEST mistake I have EVER made!
Learning to tell you was the one of the best things I ever did. There was more peace, serenity and predictability for you even when my news was not good.
Learning to plan my time well around my sickness was the second best, reliability is so important to what we do.
Though the very best was when I learned how to share my experience in a way that it was another mirror, one with a soul, a tool that could teach you, nurture you and love you.
I will never ever get it completely right, but I always hope to get it as close as I can. I will always push to make it better for you. When I swore to my ethics I made THIS my purpose, mission, and heart in life.
With all my love and healing thoughts, forever, and always:
~ Your therapist!