Thinking Too Much: A Literal Headache

I’ve had a bit of magic in my work day most days, in which things that I plan happen without little delay or mix up. I get this lucky so often I get spoiled, and mess myself up in ways you may not expect, when things don’t go my way.

Every morning we have our version of rounds, and Tuesday is my group day. In a perfect world I’m out of the meeting by 10:30 and starting group by 11:30 and able to take a lovely lunch break before being really busy for the next 3 hours with groups, individual appointments, etc, etc, etc, etc. The last Tuesday of the month we also do assessments for those who are due, and my coworker usually catches the folks come in who aren’t in the group.

Today my coworker was out sick. Which means I had to do all of the assessments, and run two groups, and meet with all my clients for individual and somewhere in there find time to breathe. Then ten o’clock rolls around and it is becoming quite clear that the meeting will have no chance of ending early, it will be running late.

And my mind is drawn to all the things I will need to rush to do, or not be able to do. I had set such a solid plan of sneaking up the street to get some quiet and a sandwich, and that wasn’t going to happen now. And I really wanted to get some personal stuff done, and on, and on, and on my mind gets going.

By 10:30 that tell tale pain started to blossom behind my left eye. And I went, “Oh,” and stopped myself. It was a brutal reminder of the effects of stress on migraine, and the importance of not getting caught up in the could be’s, wanna do’s, can’t do’s, and what it’s of the day.

That I needed to be mindful in the present moment. I needed to focus on now. When I deal with each moment as it comes everything actually does get done, and without the stress and the hassle.

I drank some water and tried to pay attention to the meeting that was simply really boring, and shared some exasperated looks with coworkers. I let go of all my plans and decided I would microwave a meal, take a few moments to myself outside, and make the best of it.

I can’t let expectations overshadow allowing things to be what they are. Especially when those expectations involve things completely outside my control.

Thanks to the slip in my thinking I needed to finish the Dexamethasone round instead of ending it a day early, however, thanks to refocusing and reigning in my mindfulness skills I didn’t have to take any other sort of medication.

Progress and setbacks can come from the smallest of things.

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